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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Staff (01/31/13)

TITLE: Miracle in the Desert


It was the precise pecking at his left eye that awoke Adam. From the slight opening, he could see the nasty black body of his attacker; it’s foul stench permeating his nostrils.

“Get away.” Adam’s voice was dry and weak but it was enough to scare the bird away.

Adam rolled over onto his back and wanted to squeeze his eyes shut. The sun was beating down on his face. He gasped painfully as he reached up to feel it. It was swollen and felt crusty. He scratched at the crust until it flaked off. The flakes under his fingernails revealed it was dried blood and sand. He lay there trying to figure out what had happened to him. All he could remember was getting attacked by two men as he left work.

He pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked around. All around him were miles upon miles of sand and scorching sun. The men that attacked him must have driven him out here and left him to die. He fumbled around his pants pockets to see if he had his wallet. It was gone. He wondered what day it was and if his wife was worried. They had been having some difficulties and he doubted her love for him. They had even considered divorce.

Adam saw a sand lizard scurry by and spoke to it, “Maybe its best I stay here and die.”

Behind him, Adam heard footsteps in the sand and turned his body around until he was on all fours.

“Help me, please.” He cried out feebly to an image walking towards him.

As the image got closer, it brought with it a dark shadow. Finally the image was close enough to Adam that the shadow covered him. Adam suddenly felt some relief from the blazing heat of the desert sun.

“Help me, please.” Adam pleaded as he strained to lift his head more to see who had approached.

Before him stood a man about seven feet tall with hair so reddish orange it looked like flames. The man’s eyes were light brown like the underside of a maple leaf just turning for the winter. He wore a long robe and in his left hand was an iron pole taller than he. The pole was topped with a ball that glowed with the colors of a summer sky.

“Rise, Adam.” The man firmly instructed.

Adam dropped to one knee in an attempt to get more upright to see his visitor. The strange man before him reached out his robed arm and extended a large muscular hand.

“Rise, Adam. The Lord has sent me.”

Adam reached out a shaky hand and was lifted gingerly to his feet. The man held out the pole that was in his left hand and told Adam to take it.

The pole was cool to the touch and Adam welcomed it to help hold him up. The man stepped closer and removed the globe from the top of the pole.

He held it out to Adam’s lips and said, “Adam, drink this and you will be filled.”

The water that flowed from the globe was the most perfect tasting thing Adam had ever experienced. The man removed it from his lips and placed it back on the pole.

“Adam, take this staff and it will guide you out of the desert. Use its water sparingly as there is just enough to get you to safety. When you get to the town called Larida at the edge of the desert, seek the house with two roofs. There you will find your wife and children. God will protect you along the way for He has a plan for you.”

With those final instructions, the man disappeared and Adam took his first step toward the rest of his life.

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This article has been read 421 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Alicia Renkema02/07/13
I loved the word pictures in this very mysterious story. You really left me wanting more... Who was Adam? Where was Ladara? (I probably am spelling that wrong)? This is a very unique piece on the word staff. Was this Adam in "Adam and Eve"? And was he being led back to Eve and his family? I can hardly wait for the next installment. Very colorful descriptions in your piece. I really liked this.
Meghan Andersch 02/07/13
I really enjoyed the way you painted this scene with words and descriptive adjectives. Very intriguing piece.

One grammar note: it's = it is
("Maybe it's best I stay here and die.")
Possessive its has no apostrophe.
("its foul stench")

As the last commenter wrote, I look forward to reading more!
C D Swanson 02/08/13
Creative and clever way of presenting the topic. Nicely done.

God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/14/13
Congratulations on ranking 8th in level 2!