The Official Writing Challenge
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I absolutely LOVE this! You make me want you to continue this saga for the sheer joy of living this out with Callie and Grampa . . .
Not forgetting Susan!
02/02/13
Nice thoughtful piece with tender poignant images and inner dialogue. Great job.

God bless~
I really enjoyed this piece. Your characters were delightful and earring endearing. You pulled me in right at the beginning with the description of the precious little girl and her Gramps.

I did notice some tiny errors like omitting the comma in "Callie Grace," he called. Also by getting rid of taglines like he said and replacing them with narrative lines like: "Callie Grace," Gramps wiggled his eyebrows. "I have a surprise for you." can give the reader insight into the characters personalities.

I think the idea of showing the topic by not repeating the same mistakes was a great idea. I did want to know more about Susan. How did things get messed up and how did she find her way home again? My desire to read more about this family shows what a good job you did of drawing me into the story.

All in all, you did a fantastic job. I could feel the love and protective personality of the grandfather. This is a delightful read from beginning to end.
The title drew me in and your story did not disappoint. Without preaching, you delivered a worthy message. Well done.
Congratulations on ranking 8th in level two!