The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/02/13
Great points with an important message. I enjoyed it. Thank you. God bless~
I think you did an awesome job on this story. I found fascinating and full of facts that I didn't know before.

My only bit of red ink would be the number of times you repeated the word filament. I know they're probably are a lot of synonyms for it, though I did find a few like wire, tendril, fiber. Also another tiny thing I noticed in your opening line you say if there was but it should be were because this follows the subjunctive verb rule. It's one of those rules that is gradually fading into oblivion, but for now, especially for authors, still a good one to remember.

I think, however, you didn't overall fantastic job. You started out with a great beginning that motivated me to read write in till the very end. I also thought your message is a great one that we all need reminding of from time to time.
Edison said, "I have not failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."

I enjoyed your mini biography. Good job.
Congratulations on ranking 6th in level two!
I just reread my first comment and realized my voice comment thingy on my tablet switched my words from there aren't a lot of synonyms to there are a lot. I hope you realized it was a typo (or in my case I guess a speak-o) because it is hard to find another word for filament for sure!
02/10/13
I have a little poem titled "Don't quit" by my computer. One line says "...you may succeed with another blow..." Good message.