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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Rest (01/17/13)

TITLE: Peace be still.
By Millicent Njue


The storm just seemed to keep raging on. Having known no respite for a long time now, she had almost come to accepting the situation as her cup of suffering. Try as she had nothing seemed to change and she was at the point of giving up.
It was a difficult situation having her son and only child abandon his Christian upbringing to take up drugs and run away from home. Having started while he was in high school, she had hoped that it would all go away and her boy would be clean once again. But now, two years later, he was in worse shape than before. She could count the times she saw him and yet he always sneaked to the house to steal stuff for sale to finance his addiction.
The situation was causing her great anguish and had even affected her work. She was so afraid that the boy would get in trouble and found herself jumping anytime the phone rang. It was a pathetic life for a single mother to live. She often wondered how her sweet little boy whom she had done her best to bring up in a Christian way could have turned into this. He terrorized her every waking moment now, filled with thoughts of him.
Maggie however did not give up hope of her son. Even though the few times she saw him now he always appeared oblivious of her presence she still tried to reach out to him. Her hear wept as only a mothers’ would at seeing the one person she loved so much wasting away right before her eyes.
God knows she had tried anything a mother would. She had prayed deep into the night every day and had called on her church fellowship members to stand in the gap. She was even ready to take him into rehab but the very idea repelled him so much. Having come to the end of herself she could only continue praying and hope that change would eventually come.
But it was only when Maggie handed over her son to Christ that she knew some respite. Tired and worn out with the way things were, she had come to a conclusion that since she could not change the situation the best she could do was hand it over to God. And so one night, down on her knees, she had made the declaration to God. It had been a simple prayer in which she admitted defeat and offered her son to God. She could trust him with her son, she declared. She challenged God to show himself strong through his life. Only then did she know rest.
Finding rest does not mean that the situation has changed. It only means that our focus has changed in that we no longer seek to deal with it our way but hand it over to God. It is comforting to know that he is able bring a change to any situation in our lives and in surrendering it to him we can trust God to make the best of it. How wonderful it is to find rest in him even when the storm rages around us. He, who has power to bring calm with just one word, Peace be still.

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This article has been read 371 times
Member Comments
Member Date
C D Swanson 01/25/13
This was so beautiful and the message timeless.

God bless~
Phee Paradise 01/26/13
So many parents are in that situation, their hearts breaking for their children. Your piece flowed well from heartache to peace, but I think it would have grabbed my attention better if you had started with the second paragraph.
Mildred Sheldon01/26/13
This was a beautiful entry about a mother's pain and anguish. Letting go and letting God handle all things is the hardest thing anyone can do.
If you put a space between paragraphs it helps the reader and it makes it easier to read.
Francie Snell 01/26/13
This piece touched my heart deeply.There are so many youths out there in the world just like this one. You ended it well with the mother placing her son in the care of Jesus.

I noticed a few places that needed closer attention. Some of your sentences seemed to run on and the paragraphs needed spacing between them. You had "hear" instead of "heart" in one place.

This is a wonderful article.

Sheldon Bass 01/27/13
This piece brings a good message that is so easy to forget. wWe need reminded often to leave our burdens in the Lord's hands. It might be even better if you do a little more "showing" the emotion of the character, rather than just "telling" about it. You could describe body position and facial expression while crying out to God. That sort of thing. But it was well told. Good work.
Jan Ackerson 01/29/13
The metaphor of the storm works very well with this story. It was a bit awkward not knowing the name of your main character until several paragraphs in; when you introduce her with a pronoun, the reader's mind looks for an antecedent and there wasn't one. You did a fine job of capturing Maggie's anguish and relief in this moody piece.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 01/29/13
This is a powerful message. My eyes filled with tears as I read. The MC's pain is palpable. You really brought out that anguish.

One thing that might make this story even more powerful would be to sprinkle some more showing and active sentences. For example: It was a difficult situation having her son and only child abandon his Christian upbringing
is a passive phrase because of the word was. You can switch it around by using active words.Ex: Maggie crumbled to the ground, she covered her face with her hands as the realization that drugs controlled her son.
I tried to use active words, I also gave the MC a name fairly early on so that the reader can begin to relate to the MC.

Overall, you did a fantastic job. The beginning interested me, your transitions felt smooth and your ending sums up your message without feeling preachy. Great bit of writing. I'm eager to read more of your stories.