The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/09/12
This was incredible. I so want to visit this house. I could see, hear, feel, and smell every aspect of this story. What courage it took not only for the slaves seeking freedom but for the many people in the underground railroad who risked their very lives for others.
This is a thrilling story. I really believe stories like this need to be told and retold lest the next generation forget. You did a lovely job with that.

I noticed a few times you repeated some words or phrases. Slave-catchers and flights of stairs stand out. It may not seem like that big of a deal but if you can find synonyms for them like steps or stairway or hunters it will help keep your story feeling fresh to the reader.

I think you did a nice of building the suspense. I could feel my stomach flip a bit when the men came looking for slaves. I live in the Genesee Valley in NY and smiled when you mentioned the reason. There is so much history on the land around us and it's good to be reminded of that.
12/11/12
Great piece of writing, exceptional job. THanks.
God bless~
YAY!! HAPPY DANCE!! I'm so excited for you and will look forward to seeing you in level three in the new year!
12/13/12
Congratulations!!
God bless~
Congratulations! You also ranked 16th overall! Great job, my friend!!