The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 398 times
Member Comments
You've filled your story with a lot of emotion (sorrow, joy, love). -- Which is just like life. I very much enjoyed reading about Mrs. MacKenzie. She could teach us all. :)
This is a heart-warming story of a woman who had no doubt where she would go once she died. Your message is one every single person can relate to and many handle it in different ways. I liked the way your MC handled it.

I noticed you had a couple of POV shifts. Since Margie is the MC, the reader can only know what she sees, thinks, feels. So when you talk about the daughter and granddaughter feeling surprise or in this line: they were amazed by the Christmas lights
you are peeking into their heads. Instead show what Margie may have seen as she was peeking out of the window and saw Mindy stop as her jaw dropped while the twinkling lights reflected on her smile or Suzie squeals and points her fingers at the lights. By doing this, not only do you avoid the POV shift, but you end up showing the reader instead of telling.

I think this is a great take on the topic. I've never quite thought of life as being a series of steps but they definitely are. Even for those strong in their faith , death can be scary. Yet you showed how with a lot of faith and love, the MC is able to celebrate her life with her family and not allow them to mourn too much. Beautiful storytelling.
Oh, this touched my heart so deeply. What a marvelous story. I really enjoyed it.
God bless~