Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Bloom (11/22/12)
-
TITLE: Sarah's Pumpkin Patch | Previous Challenge Entry
By Becky Depp
11/27/12 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
A sound came from behind me, it sounded like leaves crunching beneath pattering feet. I turned my gaze but nothing was there.
Teehee
The little child-like laughter filled my soul, a smile curved on my lips. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, letting the sunlight splash across my face and warm me.
Teehee
Something nudged my leg but when I peered down, I couldn’t see anything. I stifled a giggle and turned back to the sun. Peace filled my entire being, I was the happiest I’d ever been in my life. I felt a presence behind me and then next to me.
“It is very beautiful out here isn’t it?”
I could tell He was smiling, even without looking at Him.
“Mhm.” I nodded in agreement.
Teehee
My eyes squinted and met His; we both smiled. He wrapped His arm around my shoulders. “I love you”.
I rested my head on his shoulder. “I love you too”.
Teehee
“What’s bothering you?”
I stared at a wild rose blooming nearby. It was small and just starting out. Dew beaded up on the bright pink petals. His hand rested on my shoulder, I could feel Him squeeze lightly and I smiled.
“Nothing.” I shrugged, pushing His hand off my shoulder, I stood up and walked over to the rose. The weather was beginning to get cooler and I knew the rose would die with our first frost. I could feel His presence behind me, warmth growing on my back.
“You know you can’t lie to me.”
He was right. I couldn’t lie to Him. I could try but he’d know when I was lying, just like He already knows what is bothering me.
Teehee
A feeling stirred in my heart, it grew larger and rose up. I turned around and spotted her behind one of the bigger pumpkins.
Teehee
She popped up and landed back down behind the pumpkin. I couldn’t help but smile at the beautiful girl.
Teehee
A butterfly landed on the pumpkin and she popped up; when it flew away she reclaimed her hiding spot.
Teehee
“I know what it is, you are afraid. Not for yourself but for her.”
Tears formed in my eyes, blurring my vision. He was right. I was very much scared for her... my beautiful, wonderful, little Sarah. She’s only three years old, but she is very happy. Always has been. I loved the days like today when I could take her out of the house and enjoy the beautiful nature God gave us.
I see the huge pumpkin patch, the butterfly, the birds singing their soft melodies, the dew dripping off everything it touches, the fragrances of dirt, flowers, freshly cut grass and the air and I can’t help but feel happy- joyous even.
“Thank you.” My throat tightened around my words. I was happy, but quite sad too. I didn’t know how long we could enjoy it all. “I’m scared for when I’m gone.” A heavy sigh escaped from my chest.
“Is it getting worse?”
I could feel Him wrapping me in His love, surrounding me with peace. I tried hiding my fear and sadness from Sarah but I knew she’d notice eventually. I nodded in the affirmative, my bottom lip trembling.
“She will be taken care of. There isn’t anything to fear and I will always be with her.”
I knew he was right. She looked at me and I motioned for her to come here and she abided. I put her hand in His; tears rolled down my cheeks as I stared up at Him.
“She is my life and I’m giving her to you. You can care for her better than I can.” A lump formed in my throat. “I owe my life to you for everything you have done for me. You love me more than I can ever imagine. I give it all to you.”
“I love you, my child.”
I sunk to my knees. My eyes turned toward the heavens and I raised my hands, palms facing upward. My cheeks stained with tears.
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son…”
* * *
John 3:16 quoted from the New King James Version
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
Anyway, this is beautiful...one of those stories you read and don't forget.
God Bless, Lynn
Thank you. GOd bless~
I also love the way you intermingle joy and sorrow, fear and assurance. Good job bringing in the conflict it needs to be a story arch, but resolving it well, too.
My only red ink is that you had a couple of sentence splices, and the "Is it getting worse?" seemed out of character since He would know if it were or not. But those are very minor and easy fixes. I think you should submit this for publication in a magazine.