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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Bloom (11/22/12)

TITLE: Sarah's Pumpkin Patch
By Becky Depp
11/27/12


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The sun was just coming over the horizon, big orange pumpkins sat in the fields with dew drops sliding down their exterior. I was sitting amongst them, staring into the sunrise. A chill ran up my back, goose bumps formed along my arms.

A sound came from behind me, it sounded like leaves crunching beneath pattering feet. I turned my gaze but nothing was there.

Teehee

The little child-like laughter filled my soul, a smile curved on my lips. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, letting the sunlight splash across my face and warm me.

Teehee

Something nudged my leg but when I peered down, I couldn’t see anything. I stifled a giggle and turned back to the sun. Peace filled my entire being, I was the happiest I’d ever been in my life. I felt a presence behind me and then next to me.

“It is very beautiful out here isn’t it?”

I could tell He was smiling, even without looking at Him.

“Mhm.” I nodded in agreement.

Teehee

My eyes squinted and met His; we both smiled. He wrapped His arm around my shoulders. “I love you”.

I rested my head on his shoulder. “I love you too”.

Teehee

“What’s bothering you?”

I stared at a wild rose blooming nearby. It was small and just starting out. Dew beaded up on the bright pink petals. His hand rested on my shoulder, I could feel Him squeeze lightly and I smiled.

“Nothing.” I shrugged, pushing His hand off my shoulder, I stood up and walked over to the rose. The weather was beginning to get cooler and I knew the rose would die with our first frost. I could feel His presence behind me, warmth growing on my back.

“You know you can’t lie to me.”

He was right. I couldn’t lie to Him. I could try but he’d know when I was lying, just like He already knows what is bothering me.

Teehee

A feeling stirred in my heart, it grew larger and rose up. I turned around and spotted her behind one of the bigger pumpkins.

Teehee

She popped up and landed back down behind the pumpkin. I couldn’t help but smile at the beautiful girl.

Teehee

A butterfly landed on the pumpkin and she popped up; when it flew away she reclaimed her hiding spot.

Teehee

“I know what it is, you are afraid. Not for yourself but for her.”

Tears formed in my eyes, blurring my vision. He was right. I was very much scared for her... my beautiful, wonderful, little Sarah. She’s only three years old, but she is very happy. Always has been. I loved the days like today when I could take her out of the house and enjoy the beautiful nature God gave us.

I see the huge pumpkin patch, the butterfly, the birds singing their soft melodies, the dew dripping off everything it touches, the fragrances of dirt, flowers, freshly cut grass and the air and I can’t help but feel happy- joyous even.

“Thank you.” My throat tightened around my words. I was happy, but quite sad too. I didn’t know how long we could enjoy it all. “I’m scared for when I’m gone.” A heavy sigh escaped from my chest.

“Is it getting worse?”

I could feel Him wrapping me in His love, surrounding me with peace. I tried hiding my fear and sadness from Sarah but I knew she’d notice eventually. I nodded in the affirmative, my bottom lip trembling.

“She will be taken care of. There isn’t anything to fear and I will always be with her.”

I knew he was right. She looked at me and I motioned for her to come here and she abided. I put her hand in His; tears rolled down my cheeks as I stared up at Him.

“She is my life and I’m giving her to you. You can care for her better than I can.” A lump formed in my throat. “I owe my life to you for everything you have done for me. You love me more than I can ever imagine. I give it all to you.”

“I love you, my child.”

I sunk to my knees. My eyes turned toward the heavens and I raised my hands, palms facing upward. My cheeks stained with tears.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son…”

* * *
John 3:16 quoted from the New King James Version


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This article has been read 183 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 11/29/12
This is just beautiful. It gave me goose bumps as I read it. There was a poetic touch to it. I liked how you left the ending open not fully describing who little Sarah is. At first I thought maybe the MC was dying and her little girl needed to be cared for after she was gone. It can be a terrifying feeling not knowing if your child will be okay. But the more I thought about it, I wondered if the little girl was perhaps an inner child, the little girl who was once the MC many years ago. Growing up and facing an adult world can be quite scary. I know a little girl lives inside of me and I often fret and worry about her and the things she has seen. But God loves the little girl in me as much as he loves the mother, the sister and the friend. It can be scary to let go off the past and step out into the world but with God ever at our side, how can we go wrong? Beautiful bit of writing.
Christina Banks 11/30/12
I really enjoyed this piece. Nicely done.
lynn gipson 11/30/12
This was delicious to my artistic taste buds...really moving and touching. My son is grown and I always worry about how he will do after Im gone, due to the fact he already lost his Dad.

Anyway, this is beautiful...one of those stories you read and don't forget.

God Bless, Lynn
Dannie Hawley 12/01/12
You've painted a gorgeous picture with your words. Very poignant story, with a profoundly true message for mothers everywhere. Thanks!
Noel Mitaxa 12/03/12
With my deep male sensitivity, it took me a while to work out what was happening here, but you drew me in to the reassurance that emerges at the close. Well done.
Bea Edwards 12/03/12
Lovely poignant and heartwrenching-all the elements of a great story!
Allison Egley 12/03/12
Oh, this is beautiful. I love how you gave God such a physical presence here.
Eddie Snipes12/04/12
I love your writing. I could feel the emotions in both the child and mother. Great job!
Sandra Wells12/04/12
I loved this. It is moving and powerful. I loved the intimate relationship between the MC and God.
CD Swanson 12/04/12
Wow! This was so overwhelmingly touching and beautiful. It filled my senses and made me tear up. Lovely job. Well done.
Thank you. GOd bless~
Amy Michelle Wiley 12/22/12
This is beautiful in so many ways. I love the interplay between God and the MC. How they share the joy of creation and togetherness. I've had many of those moments, but they are hard to express in writing. You did well.

I also love the way you intermingle joy and sorrow, fear and assurance. Good job bringing in the conflict it needs to be a story arch, but resolving it well, too.

My only red ink is that you had a couple of sentence splices, and the "Is it getting worse?" seemed out of character since He would know if it were or not. But those are very minor and easy fixes. I think you should submit this for publication in a magazine.