The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/15/12
Eeww! You described the life of flies so well. I was disgusted, but intrigued. Flies are indeed irritating and this was truly a unique approach to the topic.
11/16/12
This was so creative, I loved it. You really know your flies.
Wow! If you can, picture me giving you a standing ovation and cheering. This is a bit of genius. You covered the topic in a totally unique and interesting way. Your character was grand--the quintessential hero!

I noted only one tiny error in the middle of the speech you forgot a quotation mark after the phrase Whirlwind continued. And that really is minuscule but I wanted to point it out because I think you should try to get this published either for a teen Sunday School class or in a magazine. This is a fantastic story that as many people as possible should have a chance to experience (I purposely said experience instead of read because that is what you gave me--an experience full of delight, smiles, chuckles, and a nodding head)

I thoroughly enjoyed your unique sense of humor and I daresay the next time a fly dive bombs me and tries to die in the soft cushion of my hair, I'll think of your story. This is so good on so many levels. It's a beautiful message wrapped in a layer of fun. You are quite the talented storyteller and my hat is off to you and your well-written piece.