The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 261 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This is a fantastic story. You brought tears to my eyes. I think you did a nice job of covering the topic while still telling a fresh and creative story.

The only thing I might suggest would be to break it up into smaller paragraphs so as to not overwhelm the reader. Also each time someone different speaks, you should start a new paragraph.

The part with her sniffing and feeling dejected when she couldn't smell his smell really punched me in the gut. It felt so real. I remember going to help my dad with light housework and ironing after Mom died. One day I put his shirts in the closet and I suddenly realized I couldn't smell Mom anymore. It hurt my heart so much. I think I only went back into the house one time after that. it was too painful knowing that even the smell of here lingered not. You did a fine job with this piece.
11/10/12
Very touching story...God bless and thanks for sharing...
11/11/12
Lovely....I really enjoyed this...my mother always smelled of white linen body powder...thanks for sharing.

God Bless