The Official Writing Challenge
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This is a great story. You do an outstanding job of drawing the reader in right away and showing them the conflict.

You have some tiny errors here and there that a challenge buddy might help you catch. If you need help finding one feel free to PM me. I also noticed that you were trying to move away from taglines like he said. Just remember if they are narrative lines like She laughed so hard she shook all over. is a complete sentence and needs to start with a cap and end with a period. (Your first sentence is complete and should have a period and girls' should be girl's or it should be girls'whispers.

You did a great job of showing with words like shuffled and trudged. it gives the reader insight into the MC's emotional state. I totally enjoyed this and think it would be great for young teens and preteens. With some polishing, I could easily see it in a kids magazine.
Very well told with a satisfying conclusion. Nicely done. The world needs more 'Mrs Carmichaels' and more 'Big Brother/Big Sisters.'Thank you.
11/10/12
This almost brought me to tears...very uplifting and encouraging story...God bless and thanks for sharing...
11/14/12
You accomplished so much with your piece. You enabled us to feel the pain of a child at the hands of bullies. The wonder of all the Mrs. Carmichael's in the world and the effect they have on children, perhaps for a life time. As well as paying it forward, and using one's pain to help others.