The Official Writing Challenge
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I really liked this. You did a nice job with it. This doesn't happen very often but the twist at the end caught me by surprise and for me that is delightful.

Just some tiny red ink. Try to make your dialog flow and sound more natural. Using contractions like I'm really helps. Make an effort to listen to people talking and then jot down some of the sentences or try to remember them to use in your writing. I could see the gentleman maybe taking a step back from the pastor (which might indicate he was a touch wary of him) and saying something like: "Hey dude, slow down man. Don't ya know there's no such thing as sin?" Though that might be a tad dramatic it helps give some insight into the man's personality. The other thing is watch out for repeating the same word. I bet you'd be surprised how many times you used proselytize (though it's an OUTSTANDING verb) Instead substitute words like espousing or persuading.

I liked how you incorporated the topic in this story. I know many people worry about where the world is heading to and this type of a story is quite fitting with both Election Day and Veteran's Day approaching. You tackled a touchy subject but did it with dignity and grace.
11/02/12
I think what you have shown in your story is closer than you think. I just was at a meeting at my church last Sunday where we all learned that the city (Toronto) is proposing a new zoning bi-law that will not allow new places of worship to be built in most areas, and churches that meet in public buildings such as schools, will be evicted. The thing is, mosques will still be allowed to be built because they are labeled under 'multicultural centre.'

I enjoyed your story and it is good that you are getting this message out there.

God bless!
11/03/12
I have but one word for your piece. AMEN. You did a great job