The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/25/12
Cute contemporary and clever entry! I really enjoyed it.
Thanks - loved the ending.

God bless~
Enjoyed the walk down memory. Well written. Great job. Thank you.
10/28/12
A cute and very unique story. Good job.

God bless!
10/29/12
I enjoyed how each sip from the coffee cup brought another interesting memory to mind! And the ending was just great! :D Nice job!
This is really cute. It brought back many memories for me as I used to be an RN. I've had health problems too and have been hospitalized in the hospital where I worked. I had terrible nightmares and would scream freaking out any night nurse who didn't know about the terrors that plagued me. The memory came rushing back when you mentioned the nurse who thought the rooms were haunted. I would have given the poor thing a heart attack. :)

My only suggestion might be to take one memory (the grumpy nurse) and expand it. Give the reader a picture in her mind and add dialog from the grumpy nurse. I really wanted to know more about her.

It is true how the strangest things can bring memories pouring back. I like the message on your cup and the last line brought the story full-circle. Keep writing; you have a knack for storytelling and I bet there are many memories that would make a great foundation for devotions or even fiction. Just change the memory around and add details. Some have a hard time doing that because it feels like lying but I always think of the Little House Books. Many of the events happened but she obviously couldn't remember exact dialog and details but her expanded memories are now a treasured classic. Nice job.
Congratulations for ranking 7th in level two!