The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 385 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
10/25/12
Oh - I really liked this so much, excellent entry!

Thanks. God bless~
10/26/12
Very touching story and a good reminder that the little acts of kindness we do toward others can have far-reaching effects! This was inspiring to me! Thank you!
10/28/12
You gave a great message here with this story. I loved Martha's address and the example the Father gave to her in the beginning. It shows that what we do for others today can remain with them for always and literally change the world.

God bless!
Giving, giving an example, sharing, planting a seed, loving; it's all here. Nice.
This is a wonderful and inspirational story. You had me hooked with the little one's dilemma right away.

Instead of using taglines, try using that space to help the reader get to know and picture the character. For example instead of Martha smiled and said something like Martha licked her lips would have drawn a picture for the reader and shown that maybe she was a tad nervous but even more that she was thirsty (in more ways then one--which you showed so eloquently) I also noticed Father Coughlin accidentally became Father Callahan. I do that all the time and get frustrated that I didn't catch it before submitting!

I think you nailed the topic while still delivering a message of hope and kindness. We never know what little random acts of kindness on our part can mean to others--really impacting their lives. Also the lack of those kind acts can impact a life in a different way. outstanding bit of writing with this one!
11/03/12
A really heartwarming story congratulations on your winning entry. Well done!
11/03/12
A really heartwarming story congratulations on your winning entry. Well done!