The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/20/12
This is really lovely. I could easily see it on a greeting card.

Maybe it would need to be a tad shorter for that but I could definitely picture it on one.

You did a great job with the rhythm as the words just flowed off my tongue the only line I stumbled a bit on was: Or are these the blessings that are simply missed
But I am tone deaf and have to count out the syllables to see if there is the same number in each line and when I counted that line and the one above they both had 11. I also have a hard time distinguishing from stressed and unstressed syllables and when I read it again out loud I didn't stumble.

So you may be asking why do I even mention it. The answer is because I believe this is very good and would love to see you polish it and submit it to a greeting card company or maybe a company that puts poems on plaques. I think it has a great chance of being placed where the general population can see it and be blessed by these words. So I wanted to point out any little thing I may have noticed so that if you do submit it, you can submit the absolutely best version of it.

The images you painted for me are some of the ones that comfort me the most when I'm sad or afraid. There is nothing that compares to a star-filled night when I question my faith or how the sight of a bird tasking flight echoes God's strength when I'm feeling tired or weak.

You blessed me with your words and God knew I needed to read them at this exact moment and it gives me tingles to think of the orchestrating that allowed me to read this when I needed it the most. God is pretty awesome! Thank you for listening to Him when he inspired you to write this. I can't even begin to tell you how much lighter my heart than when I first sat down to read it. It is beautiful!
10/21/12
This is just lovely. Beautiful images. Thanks.
10/25/12
Stunning words...I love this one....I write poetry and have to admit Im a little envious of your beautiful descriptions....good job!