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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Funny (10/04/12)

TITLE: Hallucinating but True
By Terry Atchison


Alma, Judy’s mother-in-law, was seventy-two years old and dying of lung cancer. She had been staying with Judy, her daughter-in-law, and her son, Jim, for the past four months. Alma’s vocabulary could make a sailor blush. If she didn’t care for you, you would know it.

Judy was in the kitchen, cooking up breakfast. Subtle aromas of bacon and coffee made their way through the living room and were inhaled by Alma’s sensitive proboscis. She automatically breathed deeper and her tongue started licking her lips. Her eyes opened as she yelled, “Judaaayyy! That sure does smell good! I’m hungry!”

“And a good morning to you too, Alma.” Judy was thinking. “I love this woman, I love this woman, I love this woman.” She repeated those words over and over so as to quell all angry emotions from rising inside her. Judy was a Christian woman, but her nerves could get frazzled from Alma’s constant bad humor.

“A person could starve to death here!” Alma coughed out the words just as Judy brought her breakfast.

“Here you are dearie. Do you need any…”

“I want to renew my driver’s license today!” Alma cut off Judy in mid-sentence and smiled up at her like a child on her birthday.

“My license expires in three days. I need to renew it.”

“But Alma, you are not driving right now and…”

“I’m not dead yet and it’s my right! You will take me up there today and I will renew it!”

Judy knew better than to argue with this old woman sitting before her, frail but very cocky. Alma was staring, glaring at Judy, waiting for a response. She knew that if she wanted peace in her house, that a trip to the DMV office was a necessity.

“Okay, Alma. Would you like to go after you finish your breakfast? The early bird gets the worm.”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay.” Alma coughed out.

Alma walked into the DMV, supporting herself on her walker. She was wearing her pajamas and a robe, her oxygen bottle slung over her shoulder. The ninety-pound woman slowly made her way up to the counter, coughing and hacking as she progressed.

“Good morning, ma’am.” The man behind the counter was smiling as he greeted Alma.

“I want to renew my license.” Alma held out her old driver’s license to the gentleman behind the counter.

“Very well, I just need to ask you a few questions. Is this your legal name here on the license?”


“Is this your correct address?”

“Yes. That is my permanent home address.” Alma was coughing loudly and wheezing.

“Do you have any physical disabilities or handicaps that would impair you from operating a motor vehicle safely?”

Alma, standing there at the counter, dressed in her PJs and house robe, holding herself up with her walker, breathing her oxygen and wheezing and coughing, smiled at the man behind the counter and replied, “Of course not!.”

“This will take about ten minutes ma’am. You can sit right there if you wish.”

Judy watched in amazement as the Illinois civil servant smiled back and proceeded to issue Alma her new driver’s license.

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This article has been read 269 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/11/12
This is a sweet story. It is amazing sometimes about just who can get a driver's license.

The first paragraph was a tad awkward because you said she was Judy's mother-in-law and then you said Judy was the daughter-in-law which was repetitive. I know you used that first paragraph to set the story but it might have been more of an attention grabber if you had started with the lady yelling or Judy cringing then gradually add the back story in. For example when Judy is chanting I love this woman you could change that to I love my mother-in-law.

I think you did a wonderful job of showing. This line really painted a picture for me--inhaled by Alma’s sensitive proboscis. It was great and I love words like that. Some may question whether you actually nailed the topic but I want to reinforce that funny always doesn't mean Ha, ha. It can also be strange or weird and you definitely covered that in your story. Plus I think some will find the fact that she went in her pajamas and the whole scene at the DMV as funny so I do think you were on topic. The ending was great. It left me with a chuckle and me shaking my head wondering about the state of our nation. You did a nice job on a topic I found to be difficult.
C D Swanson 10/11/12
Wow - that was some story! It held such a slap of reality for almost "all" Government agencies operate. Hahahahaha. I truly enjoyed this. Thank you for this. I was smiling all the way through...and laughed out loud in the end!

Thanks. God Bless~
lynn gipson 10/12/12
Great story and true for a lot of government agencies...sad to say...well written and good job!
Marie Hearty 10/15/12
I loved how Alma yelled out "Judaaay." It added so much to her character. Alma wanting to get her licence renewed even though she couldn't drive at that point was funny, but shame on the DMV guy as it was so obvious that she had medical problems. Good job with this story.

God bless!
Brenda Rice 10/16/12
I enjoyed this story. It is funny to realize how robotic people can become at doing their jobs.

You said a lot in a few words. Nicely done.
Noel Mitaxa 10/17/12
This is a great story, and so true to life. I loved the vacant description of the official who dared not consider the obvious. And did you know that such workers never look out their windows of a morning?
Simply because if they do they will hav enothing to do in the afternoons!
C D Swanson 10/19/12
congrats and God Bless~