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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Barbeque/Cookout (09/06/12)

TITLE: Solitude
By darlene thompson
09/12/12


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Growing up, I had a special

place to go for solitude. It was

an island in the North Fork River.

Here I watched the beaver build

his dam, listened to the shriek

call of the kingfisher as he

plucked a fish from the water,

watched deer bounce from the

underbush.

My place was filled with

flora and fauna. I had my own

biology class filled with crayfish

and minnows in the river, observed

what animals had visited the area

with tracks left by them in the

muddy riverbanks, saw beautiful

small and large plants, amazed by

the mushrooms and fungi that grew

in many shapes and sizes, turned

black and returned to the good

earth, and stood among the tall forest

and observed its height and

greatness.

I strolled the trails and

heard sweet melodies from crows,

cardinals, bluebirds, juncos,

wrens and many more. I learned

how to make their calls and had

them respond when I called.

I skipped rocks across the

river from one bank to the other.

These were the best kind of rocks

because they had been eroded by

the water and were smooth and

round.

On many days, I dug out a pit

away from bushes and trees. I

filled the hole with small twigs

and built a fire. I roasted hot

dogs and warmed pork and beans. I

smelled the smoky wood scent

dissolve into the beans and hot

dogs. Usually, I ended my cookout

by toasting marshmallows on a

stick. I pulled the sticky gooey fluff

from the stick and washed it down with

ice cold tea.

Together, the cookout, my island,

and nature's bounty made this the best

place on earth.


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This article has been read 247 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD (Camille) Swanson 09/13/12
Awww...This was a sweet story, I loved how you shared and described the scene. It was vivid and well written. Nicely done.

God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 09/17/12
This is a lovely piece of poetic prose. You paint a vivid description of the world around you. The only thing I might suggest would be to give the reader even more. I'd love to feel the MC's emotions as while looking around at the beauty. Does the heart flutter in sync with the fluttering wings? Or perhaps the nose twitches at the smells wafting from the campfire. You did paint a nice picture--so nice that I want even more. Your MC seems to escape reality for just a bit while exploring this delightful childhood Utopia. Nicely done.
Janice Wappel09/18/12
I love birds of all kinds and liked the way you included even the crows which many people think are ugly and a pain, but you said;
"heard sweet melodies from crows,cardinals, bluebirds, juncos,
wrens and many more."

Thanks!
Theresa Santy 09/18/12
I loved this. It struck me, deeply. I felt it, that place of solitude, as if I was there, but I knew that I wasn't, and that made me a little sad, because I wanted to be in this place you describe.

Simply beautiful.
CD (Camille) Swanson 09/20/12
Congrats on your win!
God Bless~