The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/13/12
I enjoyed this poem. My only red ink would be to avoid using "just" whenever possible.

Consider the phrase, "the weather is just tepid." Tepid, which means moderately warm, also implies a lack of force or enthusiasm, so adding 'just' is reduntant, and so it reduces the power of the word, 'tepid.'

Overall, I loved the poem. It made me smile throughout, with its happy, soulful, joyful feel.

09/13/12
I enjoyed this poem. It had a powerful message and was well-written. Thank you.

God bless~
I loved your poem. It was beautifully written and the message was wonderful. Thank you for sharing and God bless.
09/18/12
Loved the ending and the sentence that said; "Forgiveness the main course"
We need to keep that little phrase in our minds on a daily basis. Thanks and Great job!
This is really lovely. You made so many good points. I liked how you showed that the companionship of friends is more important than the food. Your lesson at the end about God is a powerful message and will hit people in different ways. That's always a cool thing because it shows the Holy Spirit is at work through you and your words.