The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/07/12
I like that: giving the junk some of its own food. Nice suspense built up with this, and quite a different take on the topic.
This is positively adorable. I immediately fell in love with little Tara. You built the suspense like a master. I figured she wanted to help the needy but didn't see that ending coming at all. That doesn't happen to me very often and what a wonderful delight it was!

You've done a nice job of trying to do more showing then telling. When you got to Mommy, you had a slight POV shift with this sentence--Her pout was so dramatic that Mom almost snickered... Since the story is told through Tara's eyes, the reader can only know what Tara knows. Instead show what Mommy did with something like-- Tara crossed her arms and stuck out her lower lip. While helping her with her coat, Mommy covered her mouth with the side her arm. Or something like that to show the reader that Tara is pouting and Mom is reacting to it.

But for most of the story, you did an outstanding job of helping the reader see a picture of the antics of Tara. I so enjoyed this. It has so many good lessons. Of course the obvious about sharing and helping others is there. But you also managed the subtle message of parents needing to be careful what they say around kids. Not only do they hear just about everything, they tend to be quite literal in their translation. You did a marvelous job and this is definitely one of my favorites this week. I really loved it!
09/12/12
I absolutely love this! Tara reminds me of my youngest grand daughter. Thanks for sharing this precious story.. excellent!
09/12/12
A creative take on the topic, and effectively done.

The only thing that slowed me down was the use of the word simply.

"so I simply wanted to give the junk some of its own food."

This seemed to be quite a small child, and I wonder if such a little one would use that word. My kids would have said, "just".

Other than that, I enjoyed the whole thing. Well done.
09/13/12
Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!

God Bless~