The Official Writing Challenge
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11/02/05
Very tenderly written.
11/02/05
Nice thoughts. I think this could be made stronger with a flash back scene of a conversation with the teller and her mama. It would give some variety and add interest to this story. Best wishes with it.
11/02/05
What a beautiful story!:)
11/03/05
A good narrative, thanks for sharing this touching essay. blessings - dub
11/03/05
Sweet memories, and comforting thoughts. God bless ya, littlelight
11/03/05
Sweet story. I agree some flashbacks would help it to come alive even more. I think you could leave out the line: "Alison recalled that smell powerful, because scents often sparked memories associated with them." No need to tell us that, you are showing it, which is great. Watch the spelling of "envelop", but that was my favourite line: "Alison sprayed a little of Mama’s perfume into the air and let the scent envelop her." Great!
:) Karen
11/05/05
this was beautifully written. thanks for sharing
11/05/05
A well written, touching story.
I think any one who is dealing with bereavement will empathise with this. Very tender, very sweet. God bless.