The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/16/12
Wow - This was so well written. I loved it. The last line touched my heart and made me smile. Great job with this powerful piece.

God Bless~
08/18/12
Nice take on the banquet that Belshazzar held. I love all the descriptions and the way you show us how it felt before, during, and after the writing on the wall.
Wow you do a grand job of describing this spectacular scene. I felt like I was watching it unfold through your eyes.

The main bit of red ink I have is to note how many times you use the word I which can switch a story from being shown to being told. For example at the end if you had switched it just a bit it would help show just say The breeze swept past instead of I knew. It's a tiny thing but can make a big difference.

You definitely coveted the topic in an exciting and intresting way. The message is one that needs to be shouted from the rooftops. I have no doubt that God gave you this talent to spread His word. You're doing a great job with it.
08/23/12
Congrats Gary! God Bless~
Congratulations on your ribbon and for ranking 19th overall!