The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
08/16/12
Nice job with the story of Esther. I enjoyed it and the powerful message at the end.

Thanks. God Bless~
08/17/12
great take on Esther. I wish more people were afraid to mess with God. Keep writing for the Lord!
I love how you used the story of Esther. If more people held God in high regard we would not be in the mess we are in.
This is a lovely retelling of the familiar Bible story. You did a nice job of laying it out.

For me personally the ellipses were very distracting. Any punctuation if overused can have the opposite effect than intended. I also wish you had added some more showing. In one line you describe how he twisted and wrung his hands. That's a perfect example of showing. I wish you had painted more pictures in my mind.

You did a nice job of covering the topic. You left me with a smile on your last paragraph. That's always a good thing to do--end with something memorable and you definitely did that. Good job.