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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Diet - deadline is 8-9-12 9:59 am NY time. (08/02/12)

TITLE: All for Love
By Deb Borrello
08/08/12


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“No way!”

“Why not?”

“I enjoy life too much!”

“What you’re doing is not enjoying life. It’s short term.”

“I like short term!”

“You have to look at the bigger picture.”

“Was that a fat joke?”

“No! You’re my sister and I love you. I want you to be around for a very long time.”

“I can be around a long time just the way I am.”

“Listen, we can start slow... cut back on calories, maybe add some exercise like running or something...”

“Running? No way. There are two things that make me run. I am either being chased down by some crazy maniacal killer or I am trying to catch the ice cream man.”

“Ok, so we’ll find something else... maybe start with walking.”

“I guess I can walk.”

“And cutback on the ice cream man?”

“What? And miss out on the sprinting exercise?”

“Be serious!”

“Fine! But I want you to know I don’t like this.”

“I know.”

“It would help if you did all these things too.”

“I do.”

“No way! You have two kids and are skinny as a rail! You have no idea what it’s like to be me!”

“How do you think I stay thin? I watch what I eat, set aside time to exercise around the kids schedule, and I can’t even remember the last time I had ice cream from the ice cream man.”

“So you know what it is to suffer?”

“Yes my sweet little sister, I know what it is to suffer.”

“Fine. I’ll try. But don’t think I’m going to make this easy for you.”

“Believe me, I never thought that for a second.”

“Oh, by the way, you should know I love you too and I am only doing this so you can love me for a very long time.”

“I would have it no other way.”


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This article has been read 202 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD Swanson 08/09/12
Sweet and tender. I enjoyed this touching story, it sought to bring out many important messages, and you've managed to do that hands-down. Loved it. Thanks.

God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/11/12
This is really sweet. I liked how you showed the love between the siblings.

The only thing I wished was to know some more information about your characters. I learned a lot from the dialog but would be able to picture it if you included some body language.

You really showed how love can be painful at times. It's more important to be honest and offer help then to say nothing or do nothing. So many people tell little lies so as to not hurt someone's feelings. This is a nice reminder.
Brenda Rice 08/12/12
I felt the conflict between the sisters and I enjoyed the way you handled the situation. You did a good job of writing. Thanks.
Laura Manley08/13/12
I really like this conversational piece. I like how you haven't introduced the characters; just found them in a conversation about the needs of one of the sisters. Very nice approach, in my opinion.
CD Swanson 08/16/12
Congrats! God Bless
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/17/12
Congratulations for your ribbon and for ranking 13 overall!