The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Bravo for overcoming the weight! Fun way you developed the story.
Praise God for your journey. What a wonderful poem and beautiful message. Thank you. God Bless~
This is a lovely poem. I liked how you showed the reader immediately what the conflict is. Sometimes it is hard to show that in poems but you did a nice job of it.

You have some errors like who's instead of whose and a switch on the tense from past to present. A challenge buddy or s critique group might help with that. If you're interested check the message boards or send me a PM.

You did a great job of covering the topic. There was a touch of humor and then the message of needing God's help. I finished reading and felt a sense of hope. Good job!
This was a wonderful poem, right on topic of "diet." You did have a couple of misspelled words and the rhyrhm was a little off in a couple of spots. But your story line was superb and it kept me waiting to see just what happened next in your desire to lose the weight. Nicely done!
So thankful you have allowed the Lord to help you with weight loss. I enjoyed your poem.