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TITLE: The Unexpected Guests
By
07/22/12
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The Sin family was eager to dish out their sumptuous fare at the church potluck. Having spent hours preparing, it was finally time to showcase their efforts. Carefully lining their table with irresistible entrees and succulent desserts, they strategized about how they would draw the unsuspecting guests to their table and entice them to indulge in their delectable food. Everything was going according to their plans until some unexpected guests showed up.

“Not the Faith family! Who invited them?” Wrath glowered across the room.

“We weren’t exactly invited, either. Why don’t we just let them serve?” Sloth yawned, looking for a good excuse to take a nap.

“And allow them to run the show? I don’t think so.” Pride was adamant. “There’s seven of us and only three of them. We have nothing to worry about.”

“But Faith, Hope and Love always have such delicious food.” Envy’s mouth watered. “And look—they’re serving on plates of pure spiritual armor. So much better than our flimsy paper plates.”

“Paper’s cheaper. And I had better things to spend my money on than this lousy church potluck!” Greed sighed, fanning herself with bills.

Wrath was growing impatient. “We don’t have time to lose. If we don’t get busy tempting the guests with our dishes, they might get a taste of whatever the Faith family is serving and that would be far too risky. Pride, target the soloist. If we don’t intervene now, people might be inspired by the song she’s singing at tomorrow’s service. Envy, you work on the church secretary. She secretly wanted to sing that solo. Make sure she gets a taste of your Jealousy Jello. Gluttony, you…Gluttony?”

“You called?” Gluttony waddled over with a stack of pies, his mouth revealing evidence that he’d already sampled one.

“What are you doing?” Wrath roared so load, the pies shook and toppled to the floor.

“That family over there was giving away the most amazing fruit pies. How could I resist free food?” Gluttony picked up one of the fallen pies and ate it whole.

“Fruit? Pies? Don’t tell me they brought the Fruit of the Spirit with them!” Wrath’s face was the same color red as the next pie Gluttony was preparing to eat. Swatting the pie to the ground, Wrath barked directions to the rest of the team. “Lust, get that pretty single girl over to our table and make sure the missionary gets a good look at her. Maybe she can change his mind about going to Africa. Greed, make sure all the givers get a taste of your Covetous Casserole. That should thwart tomorrow’s offering for the children’s home. Sloth, set a bowl of your Lazy Linguine on the Prayer Team’s table. Sloth?”

Sloth was napping under the table when Wrath found him and doused him with a pitcher of water. “Where’s the snooze button?” He mumbled, rolling over to go back to sleep.

Wrath exploded with fury. “Am I the only one who realizes what’s at stake here?”

“Who do you think you are?” Pride fumed. “You’re always bossing everyone around, when we all know I’m the one who should be in charge!”

While Pride and Wrath erupted into a heated argument, Gluttony wandered over to sample more pie. Greed took advantage of the distraction and started sneaking the family silverware into her purse. Lust used the extra time to admire himself in the mirror, and Envy sat dejected in her chair—still upset that the Faith family had better plates.

The Sin family was so distracted by their own concerns that they didn’t notice the seemingly harmless old lady make her way to the podium. “Why don’t we all bow our heads and pray for our time together?”

As the old lady proceeded to pray with great authority, Pride and Wrath’s argument escalated to a fist fight. Wrath was so infuriated that he pushed Pride backward, and their table came crashing to the ground. While the Sin family dejectedly cleaned up their mess, everyone lined up at the other table and filled their plates with Faith’s delicious fare.

The Church family was too busy enjoying their splendid feast to notice the Sin family leaving the room. Before going through the doorway, Wrath turned and hissed, “We will get you yet! Just wait until the church picnic.” But everyone was too filled with faith to taste his threatening words.

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