The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/26/12
An ingenious way to bring the topic forward...I enjoyed the entire piece,. Thanks. God Bless~
AMEN! I loved your article. it was on point and told it like it was and is to this day. Thank and God bless.
This was an entertaining and thought provoking tale. As it says in the Good Book in all things be thankful. How easy it is to forget that tiny three letter word--all. Your story showed that what we want isn't always what is best for us.

The one suggestion I might have is to not use the word so like in the cucumbers sounded so good. Can you think of a different word that might pack more of a punch like perhaps tempting, tasty, or even decadent would be an excellent tongue in cheek word that would be a perfect fit for the self-indulgent way the people acted and then a twist because it can also mean decaying or immoral. I did like the phrase in oh-so-long but you need hyphens to string the words together and create the right tempo.

Overall, I think you did a grand job with this amusing yet thoughtful entry. You covered the topic in a fresh way. Much like the manna if kept overnight can turn bad so can a story told the same way over and over but you provided a unique POV twist on the topic and provided the familiar Bible story a different way of looking at it. Nicely done.
08/02/12
Congrats! I know now how difficult it's going to be to place in this level. Thanks.
Congratulations for your ribbon and for ranking 19th overall! You can find the top rankings for each level and the top 20 overall on the message boards some time on Thursday evening or Friday morning. Here's the url if interested in seeing the list.
http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=55&t=35657