The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/20/12
We can all relate to this! Thanks...God bless~
This was very short but filled with what a kitchen truly is. It is the busiest room in the house. Thank you for sharing.
I enjoyed this little but also obviously loved, description. I smiled when you spoke of the different appliances. It made me think of when I was little and would worry that the blender's feelings might be hurt because it didn't get used enough. With my sad little eyes, I'd beg Mom to help the blender feel needed by making me a milkshake. :)

Just some little red ink. You may want to break the piece into several small paragraphs with double space between so as to not overwhelm the reader without enough white space.

You may also want to find a proofreader to help you spot the little things like the opening line isn't a complete sentence. Also you didn't use any commas which can be essential to the meaning of some sentences.

You did a nice job of writing on topic and I thought your idea was fresh and creative. you made the appliances jump to life for me in this sweet little tale. Keep writing, you have some great natural talent that needs just a touch of polishing (But then just about every piece written in under a week could use some polishing)