The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/20/12
Oh I was so pulled in by this story. I felt it come to life as I read. The food, the noise, the laughter...the children's chatter. The plates crashing to the ground! LOL. It was lovely and the best part of it is, it really happened. I loved it.

Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. And, how wonderful the tradition your grandmother started for the Reed family. I'm sure your grandmother is so proud of you caring on the legacy/tradition.


God bless~
Hi -

This is a precious dear read.
Thank you for sharing your family love and unity.

Please note the below sentence that I cut and pasted from your piece.

"I couldn't wait to open it to see what she had written. My dad, Rantz, had said I done a great job, but I wanted to see what Grandma thought."

I believe you meant to express
"...My dad, Rantz, had said I'd done..."

###

Again, thank you for this precious sweet read.
Great memory and what a wonderful way to record the events!
07/23/12
What a lovely memory to have, and such a great idea. Thanks for sharing this with us. Blessings, Helen.
This touched my heart and brought back many fond memories. Thank you for sharing such sweet tender memories from your life. I truly enjoyed reading this.
07/24/12
This is a sweet story with a nice message.

There were a handful of typos that a good proof reading would catch (possibly from someone else, cause it can be easy to miss our own mistakes).

“I am fine also” Aunt Sara said (You forgot the comma after "also")

I remember September1984 best; (need a space after September)

This sentence is grammatically incorrect: My dad, Rantz, had said I done a great job . . .

It could be written . . . My dad, Rantz, said I had done a great job . . . or . . . My dad, Rantz had said I did a good job.

Twice you quoted dialogue, then the action of the person speaking (which is great), but then added "as he spoke".

Uncle Dale put his jacket on as he spoke.

Rantz held his plate out to Grandma as he spoke.

It's unnecessary to add "as he spoke". It's clear he is speaking and doing the action. It was okay the first time, but repetitive the second.

Just a couple of things to think about. Make sure you proof read. It's a bummer to get marked down by the judges for things you could have easily caught (though we've all done it).

I assume this story is from your own life. What a great heritage you have and a blessed family. Thanks for the story.
This is a lovely tribute to your Grandma. it tugged on my heart and reminded me of my own grandmother. Things just haven't been the same without her. But how wonderful to be able to hold onto precious memories.