The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/13/12
Touching, and such an important message. Jesus' words ring out with this entry: "for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in..." Matthew 25:35.

Great message and great job. Thank you. God Bless~
You wrote a wonderful story of what we as God's children should do. I thoroughly enjoyed this entry.
07/15/12
Touching, inspiring story that is an encouragement to reach out to bless others whenever we are able.

(Note: There were a few "mechanical" errors that some extra proofreading would catch.)

Thank you for sharing this!
This is a sweet story. You did a nice job of establishing the conflicts right away. First I wondered if she was being stood up and then you threw in the mysterious stranger to add more suspense. Nicely done, it made me want to keep reading.

I noticed a couple of little typos like work instead of worn and women instead of woman.

The ending felt a bit rushed. I'm sure a lot of that was because of the word count. There are a couple of things you could have done to avoid that rushed feeling. One would be to simply end it after she gives him the food. The other thing would be to edit some of the descriptions about the park and her memories. They are nice but the main conflict is the man so being able to have some extra words to show what happened to him would make this good story even better.

You did a nice job of writing on topic and you presented a wonderful message without it coming off as too preachy. This is something that many of us now seem to forget. There was a man who came to our church once looking to borrow money for a bus trip home. It happened during Sunday School and one of the teachers sent him away quite rudely. However, my son's teacher took him to bus stop paid for his ticket and gave him some food. What a great example he was to the kids. About a week later he received a check from the man for double the cost of the bus ticket. Your story shows that same lesson and I think we do need to think what would Jesus want us to do.