The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 276 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
07/13/12
Amen & Amen to this lovely poem exhalting the Lord our God. Beautifully done.

God Bless~
Amen! I so agree that life without God is no picnic, but with Him life becomes the finest of picnics.
07/14/12
Well done! Beautiful message of salvation and what it's like to be without it!
This is a powerful piece and I could really relate to most of it. The part about crying out in pain really touched a familiar chord.

I noticed that a couple of times it seemed you had the wrong you like in you crying out might sound better like when you're crying out or when you cry out. Also with the you're drown should be you're drowning or you drown.

But those are tiny things and every story or poem could be polished endlessly. I love the message. it can feel so overwhelming in the world today. You took a different twist on the topic too which made the poem more poignant. Good job.