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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: PICNIC - deadline 7-12-12 @ 9:59 AM NY Time (07/05/12)

TITLE: Peanuts and Caramel
By Llewelyn Stevenson
07/07/12


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I wonder...
Who invited...
The ants;
Oh,
And the flies,
And those pesky magpies?

Who invited the neighbourhood dogs?
They eat like hogs,
Make bad smelling logs,
And they bark and fight.

Oh...
I see youíre here.
Are you having fun
Fighting ants off your bun,
Sitting in the hot sun?

Itís quite a feat:
Keeping the dog from your meat,
But...
Weíll play in a while
And you can strut your style.

A three legged race,
You do it with such grace.
An egg and a spoon,
Oops...
I spoke too soon.

Whew,
That went down to the wire,
Come and sit by the fire,
And sing songs...
Till we catch our breath.

Now the day is all spent,
And itís time that we went.
Just give us a tick
While we burn this last stick.

...Home at last!
The day went so fast.
Iím so tired and so worn
Iíll sleep soundly till morn.

Hope we do it again some day.

Have a picnic.


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This article has been read 198 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lois Farrow07/12/12
Fun poem, well done.
CD Swanson 07/13/12
Great rendition of which we can all relate to. A "day at a picnic with the festivities." I enjoyed it. Good job. God Bless~
CD Swanson 07/13/12
Great rendition of which we can all relate to. A "day at a picnic with the festivities." I enjoyed it. Good job. God Bless~
CD Swanson 07/13/12
Great rendition of which we can all relate to. A "day at a picnic with the festivities." I enjoyed it. Good job. God Bless~
CD Swanson 07/13/12
Great rendition of which we can all relate. A "day at a picnic with the festivities." I enjoyed it. Good job. God Bless~
CD Swanson 07/13/12
Great rendition of which we can all relate. A "day at a picnic with the festivities." I enjoyed it. Good job. God Bless~
CD Swanson 07/13/12
OH My! I don't know how that happened...so sorry.

GOd bless~
Mildred Sheldon07/14/12
Loved your fun description of a picnic.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 07/15/12
This is such a whimsical and fun poem. You did a fantastic job describing the details of a beautiful day. I could easily picture it all.

The only suggestion is purely personal and others may not agree but I think the ending would have been stronger if you had ended earlier. I don't think you needed the last two lines.

However, all and all you did a splendid job. You nailed the topic and made me smile. The rhyme and rhythm was delightful and you made it look easy.
James G. Davis07/15/12
I agree, this was a fun description of the festivities and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Llewelyn Stevenson 07/18/12
@ Shann, actually the poem did finish 2 lines earlier, but my family felt it was too negative, which I wasn't trying to portray. The last line was added so someone who asked why could connect it to the title.