The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/12/12
Fun poem, well done.
07/13/12
Great rendition of which we can all relate to. A "day at a picnic with the festivities." I enjoyed it. Good job. God Bless~
07/13/12
Great rendition of which we can all relate to. A "day at a picnic with the festivities." I enjoyed it. Good job. God Bless~
07/13/12
Great rendition of which we can all relate to. A "day at a picnic with the festivities." I enjoyed it. Good job. God Bless~
07/13/12
Great rendition of which we can all relate. A "day at a picnic with the festivities." I enjoyed it. Good job. God Bless~
07/13/12
Great rendition of which we can all relate. A "day at a picnic with the festivities." I enjoyed it. Good job. God Bless~
07/13/12
OH My! I don't know how that happened...so sorry.

GOd bless~
Loved your fun description of a picnic.
This is such a whimsical and fun poem. You did a fantastic job describing the details of a beautiful day. I could easily picture it all.

The only suggestion is purely personal and others may not agree but I think the ending would have been stronger if you had ended earlier. I don't think you needed the last two lines.

However, all and all you did a splendid job. You nailed the topic and made me smile. The rhyme and rhythm was delightful and you made it look easy.
@ Shann, actually the poem did finish 2 lines earlier, but my family felt it was too negative, which I wasn't trying to portray. The last line was added so someone who asked why could connect it to the title.