The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/17/12
This was such a deep story,and so well written. There were many layers within this piece. Great job...and very profound internal thoughts. Nicely done. GOd bless~
This is a great lesson. I knew as soon as I read superfluous tirade that this was going to be an intense story. You did a grand job of painting many pictures as I read along.

The only red ink I would offer is it did seem as some words were repeated quite a bit but perhaps that was part of the imagery.

You did a beautiful job with this piece and I so enjoy stories with words that show the intensity of the meaning behind them. Congratulations!