The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 296 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
06/15/12
Your message is very clear in this entry of the challenge at hand. For the most part, your poem was rhythmic; however, there were times when I lost that rhythm. Also, proofreading your work is a good thing. I noticed in a few places, you used "you" instead of "your." Spellcheck will not pick up those kinds of things. As a whole, I thought your poem was very well thought out and proved to have an excellent message. Good writing!
I identify with your thoughts in this poetry very much. Thank you. Blessings!
06/17/12
Amen & Amen. Beautiful poem, flowed smoothly...and most important - praised the Lord in loving words.

Thank you. It touched my heart. God Bless~
This is so beautiful. In the beginning I felt like somehow you had been eavesdropping on some of my thoughts. The repetition was so lovely and really helped your message shine.

Tiny red ink. There were a couple of spots where you used you instead of your. Also nobody should be one word. In the third stanza you used none and each time I read it no one seemed to come out and to my untrained ear seemed to flow better.

This is right on topic and it really touched my heart. The ending is so perfect. Thank you for sharing this with me, it really meant a lot.