The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/31/12
Great questions. Meaningful and powerful thoughts and references. It also was well written. God bless~
The opening line really grabbed my attention. I can see why it would be embarrassing.

Try working on more showing. Instead of telling us the little boy was surprised show me what his surprise looks like -- did his eyes grow bigger as he looked at you then glanced at bus driver?

You did a nice job of transitioning from your story to your message. Nice job.
Love the innocence of a child. It is refreshing, but can be embarrassing because they have no guile. I loved this so much. Thank you for sharing and God bless.
Well written and told story. Also very funny:)
I wish the children today were as innocent as we were in our day. Yesterday we were only talking about what our children are being taught here (in South Africa) in the schools. Really quite horrifying some of the life skills material. So glad I didn't have that type of education.
06/07/12
Congrats! God Bless~