Home Tour About What's New Help Forums Join Login My Account Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
I
Need A
Savior
297
  

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Fragrance (10/24/05)

TITLE: The Scent of Rain
By Julianne Jones
10/28/05


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Madeline opened the window and breathed deeply. The recent rain had teased a myriad of fragrances from the garden – from the flowers, the soil and the freshly cut grass – and combined them together in an exquisitely perfumed bouquet that seemed to be for her alone.

Turning to survey the room she reflected that this wasn’t what she’d expected when she’d arrived several nights ago amidst pouring rain. Instead of musty rooms, peeling paint, and battered furniture, the room was light and airy, plain but clean, and scented by a huge urn filled with the dried and fragrant petals of long dead summer roses.

Casting her mind back over the previous days, she shuddered. There’d been her desperate flight from home, arriving at her parents’ in the driving rain, Damien’s phone call, and the fearsome knowledge that she must find refuge. Then once more driving in the rain and dark until she finally found a place that offered safety and acceptance. There’d been no questions asked - instead they had tended to her needs, comforted with hot drinks, and applied soothing lotions to her bruises.

She ran her fingers through her short hair. They’d even found someone to style her hair in an effort to cover the damage Damien had inflicted that night, although nothing would ever block out the image of her husband coming at her with a knife.

Madi sighed then looked toward the bed where Amanda now slept, curled up in the centre. Deciding that it was safe to leave Amanda sleeping, she tiptoed down to the phone in the hall. Her father answered after the first ring.

“Daddy,” she almost wept with relief. It was so good to talk to him again.

“Madi. Where are you?”

“I’m at the women’s refuge. I’m fine. How are you doing?”

“We’re okay. Honey, Damien came here. He was angry when he couldn’t find you. Said you’d had an argument.”

“Is that all he said?”

She sensed his reluctance to answer.

“It’s okay daddy. I can guess what he said. None of it’s true.”

“I know that, honey. But …”

“But what?”

“How’s Amanda doing?”

“Daddy. You can tell me. He’s spreading stories, isn’t he?”

His silence was answer enough. She glanced out the window and watched as a sparrow flew down from its branch and bathed in the rainwater that had pooled on the path.

“What are you going to do now?”

“I’ll probably stay here a little while longer. They want me to press charges.”

“Oh honey.”

She heard the pain in his voice and suddenly saw him as he had been years ago, taking a series on marriage. She pictured him, Bible in hand, telling the congregation, “Marriage is from God. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.”* This must be tearing her parents apart.

“Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know, daddy. It’s so confusing. He’s still my husband.”

She remembered the talk she’d had yesterday with one of the lawyers who represented the women. She’d not understood half of it: this kind of thing was outside her experience. She had no idea what to do.

“I need some time.”

There was again silence and she thought he’d gone to get her mother, until she heard his voice again.

“Your mother and I went shopping today. In town.”

“Daddy?” They hardly ever went into town, preferring to stick to the small shopping centre in their immediate area.

“Your mother’s cleaned out your old room, so we went shopping for a bed. For Amanda. For when you come home.”

Tears threatened to overspill and choke her voice.

“Oh daddy.”

“Just let us know when it’s safe to come home.”

“Oh I will daddy. I will.”

She finished the call and headed back to Amanda. Passing two women in the hall, she heard an expletive followed by: “I curse the day I met him.”

Madeline entered her room lost in thought. Eyeing her sleeping daughter she wondered if she shared the woman’s feelings. She dropped to the bed and gazed at her beautiful daughter.

She remembered the verses she had read that morning: to comfort all that mourn … to give unto them beauty for ashes.** If she hadn’t married Damien she wouldn’t have Amanda. Despite everything, she couldn’t regret marrying him.

Curling up beside Amanda she breathed in her sweet baby fragrance and fell asleep, a prayer for comfort on her lips.


* Mark 10:9 KJV
** Isaiah 61:2-3 KJV


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 1302 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 11/02/05
I really like this continuing story. I especially appreciate that Madi's parents are supportive, not judgmental. Perhaps through the rest of the challenge, we'll get some closure on this story?
Kate Wells11/02/05
I was glad to see Madi again and know she was managing. The bit about running her fingers through her short hair was a nice touch. I had forgotten how her husband had cut off her long pretty hair. I'm torn between wanting to know more and not wanting to...because it is so painful. Nevertheless...good writing!
Garnet Miller 11/02/05
I remember these characters! I asked for more and here it is! I'm glad Madi's dad finally came around. Support from those in our families is so important! Thanks for sharing:) More, More!
Val Clark11/03/05
Yes, I'm hooked, too. Well written and touching. A tough issue to tackle. I particularly loved the layered effect of the sparrow. Well done. Yeggy
dub W11/03/05
Well thought through and presented. Probably this series should be a level up, but we can find it no matter where you hide it. blessings - dub
Nina Phillips11/03/05
I was touched by your story and underlying messages. Nice work!
God bless ya, littlelight
Karen Ward11/03/05
I smell something longer being submitted elsewhere...great writing, great characters. Well done!
Denise Stanford11/04/05
A difficult and contentious subject handled with finesse. Yes a longer excursion into this kind of pain would be helpful to many readers.
Crista Darr11/05/05
Ok, I think I'm missing something. There's a part I? Powerful writing filled with hope and faithfulness in the midst of great suffering. Well done Julianne.
Shari Armstrong 11/05/05
such a heartbreaking story-well written
Debbie Sickler11/06/05
I'm glad to see you took everyone's advice and continued this story. Great job at reminding us of the previous story and letting this one stand on its own. Just wondering, is this still based on truth or did you branch out into your own imaginings?
Suzanne R11/07/05
CONGRATULATIONS! I'm so glad that you're getting this published. It is very touching, very real, and very well written.
Deborah Porter 11/07/05
Yay! Jules, what can I say? I was thrilled to see you in the Editors' Choice. My old school motto was, "Success Smiles on Effort." I've never forgotten that, and I think you're seeing the truth of it in this win. Well done.

Now although I would normally say move on up to Level 3 because you won in the Editors' Choice, I don't want to push you before you feel ready. So the decision is yours. If you want to stay on Level 2 a little longer, please don't feel pressured to move up. If you think you're ready, then up you go.

Anyway, congratulations again Julianne. You deserved your win. Love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)
B Brenton11/08/05
And so the saga continues.
Wow. I want more... more!!!
Good job Jules. Thrilling read thus far.


   
© MeasurelessMedia. All rights reservedTerms of Service