The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/31/12
Great job. Right to the point, and the true meaning. God. I loved it. Thanks.

God bless~
After my own heart.
I've read several stories about Adam and Eve this week. I think going back to the beginning really helps us come to terms with life.

If you could implement some more showing and less telling I think it would help the reader relate. Try to picture what Eve thought, said or did when the serpent first approached her. One of my thoughts is was she surprised a serpent could talk, did they speak with all of the animals or what did they think when they couldn't understand them. This would all be your opinion but it is a way to make your story a tad different while relating to the reader.

This is a well-written piece and it flows effortlessly. You did a nice job.
I truly enjoyed your article. It was right on topic. Thank you for sharing and God bless.
06/07/12
Congrats! God Bless~