The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/01/05
Flowed nicely and good dialogue! I could feel her sorrow! I might suggest dropping the AND at the beginning of a sentence:) Thanks!
11/02/05
Very nice--thanks!
11/02/05
Many today also feel the same sadness as this young child. War is never nice or easy. This piece touched my heart. Thank you:)
11/03/05
Well written, as I read this I wonder if the same feelings flowed with mothers who have watched their sons and daughters go off to war. blessings - dub
11/03/05
I really liked your story, good feelings and sad. However, if you notice in your descriptions, "the tears cascading down her cheeks" for instance--was not necessary to "repeat" on the following line--and
"the tears dripping off her nose." Could have been one sentence. Somethings I also need work on (LOL) Good job!
God bless ya, littlelight
11/03/05
I was getting tears in my eyes as I read this. Nice job.
11/03/05
I don't cry - but I am now. I could picture myself saying goodbye to my stepfather, and I felt the emotion all the way through. The bitter sweetness isn't easy to handle. Nicely written. Thank you.
11/04/05
Your writing conveyed realistic feelings from both the Dad and the child. Very real and very sad. Well done. :) Karen
11/04/05
The story had me in tears; but it needs some excess words edited out to make it more compact...but great story.
A very heartrending story
sweet title with a sweet story. Sometimes it makes you wonder why some people seem to have more sad events than others. A touching piece. Nice Job.
11/07/05
Tisha, it was delightful to see you in the winners' list! Congratulations on your 5th Place in the Editors' Choice, and your 3rd place in the Level 2 awards. Time to move up to Level 3. Love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)
11/07/05
Congrats! I'm so happy for you!