The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/02/05
A very good allegory, and you niftily refrained from bopping your readers over the head with the spiritual application.

Two quick suggestions: when Abby thinks "...Excuse me, but could you please leave...", put it in italics rather than quotes, so the reader realizes she's not saying the words aloud. Also, perhaps show us some "stinky" behavior from some of the guests, to drive home the difference between them and the sweet-smelling woman.

I really like this story a lot!
11/02/05
Very interesting indeed, yes, the italics will help the thoughts, also pay attention to pronoun reference - once or twice I had to besure I knew the source of the discussion.
thanks
11/02/05
I like to surround myself with 'fragrant' people who exude the love of Christ from the inner Man. Thanks for sharing:)
11/02/05
I liked the interesting take in your story. It kept my attention as it wasn't shot-gunnish towards any certain problem as to why the guest (not individual) would have a foul odor.
I thought this was an exceptionally nice way to teach a lesson. God bless ya, littlelight
What a creative way to make a worthy point! You had my attention all the way.
I also liked how you didn't force the lesson, you just let the story tell it for it self and I think it would have been good to show a little taste of what made the guests stinky.
11/04/05
Nice message. Nice writing. It flows. Yay! Perfect title as well.
11/04/05
It reminded me of that awful stinky, musky perfume that so many women wear - that smells like medicine. Your story kept my interest to the end...which is rare.
Great story. While Christians would grasp the allegory I think you need to show some of the 'stinkiness' of Abby and her guests if the story is to have a wider application. Well done.
Nice Job. I agree with the thoughts being separated. I had to read it twice because I wasn't sure if she said it out lound. Great title.
11/07/05
Christl, congratulations on your 3rd Place in the Editors' Choice and your 2nd place in the Level 2 awards. Quite an achievement for your first entry in the Challenge. Well done! That means that it's time for you to move up to Level 3. Again, congratulations! Love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)