Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Risk (05/17/12)
TITLE: It's Okay To Be Me
By Esther Portalatin
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I woke to the sound of a blood pressure machine beeping loudly. I didn’t know what had happened. I was talking and then all of a sudden, I fainted. Scary, not understanding what was going on. I looked around and there was my big sister holding my hand.
“What happened? I can’t remember anything.” My sister’s loving eyes just looked at me and assured me that I was going to be okay, this time. Feeling so afraid, I began to pray and asked God to help me. Why was I here? My mind was in such a fog.
My sister quietly stated, “You took a big risk today little sis. You started a new diet and were determined to practice self control, but you took it a bit too far.” I kinda smiled a little and then everything began to unfold.
“I should have eaten a little something huh?” Being a diabetic, it wasn’t too smart of me to take a risk like that. I played with my life literally and that wasn’t a wise thing to do. Even the doctor was a bit annoyed, but no one understood what it felt like to be overweight and never feeling good. I just wanted to lose ten pounds, not much.
Everyone made fun of me and called me chubby. People just didn’t understand what I was feeling inside. Only a junior in High School and already a diabetic, I had so many health issues. The name calling hurt so deep inside and I wanted to be skinny again. I was willing to take risks that would affect my health even more, but not a smart thing to do.
Who was I going to talk to about the bullying. I didn’t fit in. I wasn’t part of that whole “ girl goes out with the school jock” thing, so I was an outcast. If only they knew me. If only they knew who I was as a person they would’ve probably treated me differently.
I hated going to school because now they would have something else to tease me about. I was never afraid to take risks, I just needed to know which ones to take. So I prayed and asked God to give me the wisdom to confront them the next time they would approach me. That meant me having to take another risk, but I was willing to stand up to them and let them know that it was okay for me to be myself. I didn’t need them to feel complete. I had Christ and in him I was complete.
Two days later, I returned to school to find them huddled in a group, laughing and pointing at me. Once again, the words chubby, fatty, the big round ball, was screamed at me. I prayed and asked God to help me keep strong and keep my Christian testimony. I ignored them and continued on my way. Out of the clear blue, this really large, I mean really full sized girl got in front of them and firmly asked, “Are you referring to me?. They were quickly silenced and sheepishly responded, “Umm, no. Sorry.” She turned to me and asked, “Were you referring to her?” Once again they quietly responded, “Um no. We were just talkin that’s all.”
I couldn’t believe it. Someone came to my defense. The girl then loudly stated, “Oh cause if you were referring to me, I’d have to take care of business. And you see that girl over there, I got her back too. So think twice next time.” She walked away from them and there they stood, in front of everyone, so embarrassed. I took a risk as I walked passed them but they put their heads down. They didn’t dare look at me or say a word.
Fitting in no longer mattered to me. I was thankful to God that he sent someone to defend me. I had never seen that girl in school nor did I ever see her again. Could she have been an angel? Wow, that was awesome.
I was so thankful to God that I learned that it was okay to simply be me.
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