Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Fame (05/10/12)

TITLE: Best cook in town
By Ellen Carr
05/15/12


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

The newspaper cutting held pride of place on Madge's fridge door. She paused to look at the photo and read the article from the the local paper, 'The Advertiser'.

'Best cook in town', was the caption and the picture was of Madge, holding a cake. Skewered on top of the cake was a blue ribbon and rosette and in front was the tag: 'Sponge Sandwich: First Prize Madge Robinson'.

'Madge Robinson's culinary skills won her eight first prizes at the Wurna Agricultural Show this year,' gushed the article. 'And this is the fifth year running that she has taken out all the prizes. The judges declared her sponge sandwich cake the best they had ever tasted.'

Madge often re-read that article. It was her claim to fame. Everyone in the Country Women's Association had heard of her, not just in Wurna, but throughout the state. The article was yellowing and fly-spotted, but Madge didn't care. She had four more copies stashed away.

It was September again and the Wurna Show was looming up. Madge had planned her entries carefully, checking her recipes and her notes. People often asked for her recipes, especially the famous sponge sandwich recipe, and she did share them. But she always she kept some of her culinary secrets to herself.

Madge's sponge sandwich cakes were always perfect, evenly risen with both layers exactly the same. She never told anyone her secret of weighing the pans before and after adding the mixture so the halves were precisely equal in size and weight. She never explained her secret ways of stopping the cakes from rising too high in the middle or sinking down, nor what gave them a special extra flavour. These winning secrets she held close to her heart.

Solid of build and character, Madge was well-known in the town of Wurna. She was a dependable, salt-of-the-earth type of woman, a no-nonsense person. She put her hand up for committees. She put in the hard yards.

On Show Day Madge took her perfectly prepared cakes in early, driving slowly, cornering gently. Carrying them in carefully she set them in place then headed home. There was really no competition. No-one could hope to beat her in the cooking game.

Judging was at one o'clock so she pottered around at home, waiting till it was time to return for the results. She ate a solitary lunch of soup and bread and listened to the midday radio serial. It was lonely these days without Jim. It was three years since he died and Madge missed him a lot. And with the children and grandchildren so far away she was often on her own.

At precisely two o'clock Madge climbed into her car and headed back to the show. She'd be just in time to see the results posted. She was quietly confident of success. She parked and entered the building.

Several women greeted her: 'Off to see all your blue ribbons, Madge?' Madge smiled and said, 'Well, I can't be the winner every time!' But she knew she would be. She headed to the sponge cake section and there, behind the glass, was the cake that had won. But it wasn't hers.

'Sponge Sandwich: First Prize Hilda Green,' read the tag. Madge froze and her face paled. She'd been outdone. An unknown rival had trumped her. It was unthinkable. She headed for a chair and sat down heavily.

'Are you alright?' asked someone she didn't know, a trim woman in a floral dress. 'You look a bit faint. Can I get you a glass of water?'

'Yes please,' whispered Madge, still in shock. The woman soon returned with a glass of water. 'Thanks,' muttered Madge.

'I'm Hilda Green,' said the stranger. 'I've just moved to Wurna and I don't know a soul yet.'

Madge gasped. This was her rival, the usurper. 'Pleased to meet you. I'm Madge Robinson,' she managed to say.

'Madge Robinson! You're famous Madge! You're a legend in the cooking world. I'm so thrilled to meet you.' She said nothing about her own win. 'Madge you've got seven firsts today! You've done so well. I'm in awe of you! Could we get together some time and talk cooking?'

Madge's face crinkled into a smile. Hilda wasn't a rival, she was a potential new friend.

'Come round tomorrow afternoon for a cuppa if you're free. Here's my address.' She wrote her address and phone number on a piece of paper and pressed it into Hilda's hand.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 192 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD Swanson 05/17/12
"Humble Pie" coming up! Loved this. It was on topic, and served up a powerful message in the process. Well written and memorable. Thanks.

God Bless~
Lois Farrow05/17/12
Lovely story. Well told to get the emotional roller coaster, with a great ending.
Llewelyn Stevenson 05/19/12
Enjoyable.
annie keys05/19/12
Since I'm also a cook, I absolutely LOVED this story! Great job of describing the thrill of winning, the ache of losing and the joy of competition!

A couple of writing suggestions. Be more careful in your last and final reading. Set your article aside for a few hours then read it one last time with fresh eyeballs. (But she always she kept some of her culinary secrets to herself.)Should have been caught before publish. *)

Why did you use ' instead of " when your character talked? Not sure if that's
allowable or not---

But, other than those two suggestions--VERY well done! Good job.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/20/12
I really enjoyed this beautiful transformation of Madge. You did a great job building the character and making her seem so real and typical of a lonely woman.

Make sure you start a new paragraph each time there is someone different speaking.

I loved the ending, even though it was a tad predictable it still touched my heart. I liked how slowly Madge came to realize the chance of a new friendship. This is on topic and a wonderful and fresh take on fame. Nicely done.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/20/12
I try not to read the other comments before I post so I won't be influenced. I do know that British English uses the single quotation mark (') instead of the double(") and it is perfectly acceptable as long as you are consistent throughout your story. :)
CD Swanson 05/24/12
Congratulations! Nicely done. God Bless~