The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/12/12
I loved this "poetic" descriptive piece. I could see the entire scene unfolding in my mind's eye.

Great job...and very moving entry.

God blessd,

Camille~
This is a really detailed piece. The beginning drew me in and I could picture your character easily. Though I can see it as an allegory for life. Oh how busy the roads can be and how we can feel lost in the shuffle, never able to reach our destination.

However, I feel some may miss the message in your piece and just think it is a good description of a homeless man crossing the street. I think you needed a brief description at the end to kind of sum up the message you wanted to leave the reader with.

This is definitely on topic. You painted the perfect picture of weary. The beginning drew me in as I began to connect with your character.