The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
05/11/12
Ahhh...I love this Walmart greeter! You have lots more words you could have used. Nice job with the words you did use but you could do so much more with this story. You should try! You just wet our appetite:)
05/12/12
You've Beautifully captured, what a kind heart, and smile, can do to a "weary soul." Loved this.!

Great job. And, praise God you weren't hurt. A house can be repaired...a life cannot.

Kudos to you. Thanks for sharing.

God bless,

Camille~
This is so sweet. I loved how you showed the despair and really set the scene up.

You may want to break it into smaller paragraphs and also double space between the paragraphs. Also be careful you don't give away the ending with the title. I'm terrible at not reading titles so I didn't see it until the end. However, I think if I had the ending may have lost that glorious surprise for me.

This reminds me of a sermon my minister does. He asks everyone how would you feel if you found out your soul purpose in life were to smile at the store clerk? Of course most people feel shock and horrified that God wouldn't give them a greater purpose. However your story really showed what a difference a smile can make. It likely will spread and one smile may touch countless people. Lovely message.
I've never been in the path of a hurricane and from what I've heard and seen I never want to. I loved your short to the point story and how one person can change the MC 's outlook from gloom and weary to one of joy. Thank you for sharing and God bless.
You have an amazing experience here to practice creative writing...could develop in a number of ways. Think about the "show versus tell" concept. For example, instead of beginning with a statement of fact (there was a hurricane) have your first sentence show what you and your husband were experiencing at the height of the storm... and then proceed along those lines. The juxtiposition of the walmart greeter versus the devastation that is depressing everyone around her is a wonderful concept.