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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Rich (04/26/12)

TITLE: Tsk Tsk
By Margo McKenzie


The large screen HDTV had become my companion during this sleepless summer night. After surfing the channels, my remote stopped on the face of a young Peruvian child with large round eyes drinking water from a murky stream. Not far from her, a goat waded in the water, and also drank. Clean Water International followed that clip with a plea for help. “Your gift of $50.00 can bring safe water to two families. Won’t you support our efforts to bring some blue gold to communities in need?”

"Your boyfriend is calling. Pick up the phone! Your boyfriend is calling. Pick up the phone!"

I refused to touch that IPhone. “At the sound of the beep. . .”

“Danielle, I know you’re there, come on.”

I would not give in. He eventually gave up.

That voice that was why I up all night instead of celebrating my 24th birthday the way I had planned: a limousine ride to my favorite four-star restaurant and a New York Broadway play. He could afford it and so much more, and I was worth it. Instead, he surprised me with a bouquet of flowers and an idea for a walk in the park--a far cry from my plan.

“How can you be so snobbish?”

“How could you be so cheap?” He left me standing at my own door.

So I ended up doing what anyone would do with a malfunctioning central air system. I suffered in a sweltering apartment. All dressed up and nowhere to go but to my refrigerator for comfort. I gathered three cubes from my brimming-with-ice tray, and from the abundance of my Brita -filtered pitcher filled my glass with cool water, then sat down. I lifted the cold, sweating glass to my lips trying to prevent an overflow from spoiling my blue velvet sofa. Just as I was about to take a sip, my eyes met the eyes of the little Peruvian child. She looked right at me, and her eyes panned the opulence on my walls and shelves and floors. Shamefully, I rose to search for a pen.

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This article has been read 319 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD (Camille) Swanson 05/04/12
Wow - this was powerful and held such an air of authenticity. So this may or may not be a true story, but either way...what a great message. You've managed to touch on the topic by showing, rather than telling. That little girl's eyes panning the MC's apartment said it all! That is not a small feat. Exccellent job! And, brilliant entry.

Thank you. God Bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/06/12
This is an excellent message. I wasn't sure where you were going at first because your transition was a tad abrupt. The ending is a powerful message and one we all can need to be reminded of from time to time.
Angela Coleman 05/08/12
Expert descriptions! Reading it makes me feel the heat
in the apartment as well as all the frustration, plus the ultimate moment of conscience at the end.
Mildred Sheldon05/09/12
What a powerful entry and right on target. This truly spoke to my heart. I loved how you showed the reader because it drove the point home. Thank you and God bless.
CD (Camille) Swanson 05/10/12
Congratulations and God Bless~