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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Don’t Look Back (04/19/12)

TITLE: Remember Lot's Wife
By Carla Procida


The forecast could not be taken lightly. What was first deemed as the usual exaggerated weather report, the black puffy billows had put all doubt to rest and warned time was ticking down. Rachel and her husband had little choice but to go and hide in the cellar while the home they loved would soon likely be one of nature’s own road kills. So many memories, mostly good, crowded Rachel's thoughts while she quickly packed up what she decided would share their small ten by ten temporary home. She expected her husband to squawk like he did every time they went on trips, claiming there was too much baggage to schlep along .

Rachel was fighting depression almost as hard as she was fighting her husband this morning on nearly everything. He found her in the bathroom, shoving make-up and a mirror into a large zippered case. “Rachel, what are you doing? We don’t have time to pack anything nor do we have room! We have to gather the girls and get downstairs. You heard the forecast and don’t tell me you can’t hear the wind for yourself!” Both anger and sadness took a hold of Rachel’s heart at that moment. “I’m not going down without these things!” pointing to three large bags placed outside the bathroom door.

“You’re joking hon, you have to be. We can’t take these bags with us, we have to go now!”
“But there are pictures of our kids, jewelry, other priceless things we can never replace!

Suddenly they heard screams from both their daughters.
“Girls, girls!” Rachel yelled out. “We’re outside mom! I can see the funnel! Hurry, we’re scared!”

Rachel’s husband grabbed their daughters who were standing on the front porch and led them down the stairs to the safety of the room he built in the cellar for storms such as these. It was inevitable beyond a shadow of a doubt their home would be destroyed judging from the steady path of the deadly swirling cone.

But as they ran for safety, Rachel lagged behind, taking in one final look at the home she and her husband painstakingly restored from a handyman’s special to it’s original Victorian beauty inside and out. She glanced once more at the expensive furnishings hand picked from both antique and high end stores. Then the exact moment Rachel gazed up at the decorative pillars diving living room and dining room, the tornado tore at their house like a lion taking his first claw at his doomed prey. She suddenly froze like a statue as one of the pillars was about to crush her. And for the fraction of a second before she was killed her own father’s words squeezed in that fleeting moment, words of caution while growing up in tornado country, “Never, never look back.”

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This article has been read 231 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Fiona Stevenson04/26/12
I can just see this happening, hear the desperation, sympathise with the MC about to lose all her worldly goods - very well written. God bless you.
C D Swanson 04/28/12
Oh my gosh - my heart ached reading this entry. So many tornadoes as of late in the news, and so many lives lost. Although losing a home can be devastating, it doesn't come close, or even in the near vicinity of losing a loved one or ones life in the fiendish funnel.

Powerful ending to bring home a very important message...Great job.

God Bless~

marcella franseen04/30/12
A chilling tale. It reminded me of the story of Lot's wife. It is easy to keep our focus on material things, even to our own destruction or the destruction of those around us.
marcella franseen04/30/12
A chilling tale. It reminded me of the story of Lot's wife. It is easy to keep our focus on material things, even to our own destruction or the destruction of those around us.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/01/12
This left me with tears in my eyes. You did a great job of grabbing me and pulling me into the story right away. The ending was brilliant so many people like to tie stories up in a neat little bow. But life doesn't always work out. Your story has an even greater impact because the MC died. It's a valuable lesson. How sad that sometimes we humans value things over our family and even ourselves.