The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/28/12
I loved that story...What a wonderful morale. This was a pleasant read and so well written, packed with important messages throughout.

Thank you for this.

God Bless~
This is a sweet story. I could picture the characters in my head. I think with some polishing, (ex. lets should be let's) the first part would make an adorable picture book for children. I liked how you added the tortoise thinking about Jesus.

However, the transition to adulthood was quite abrupt, almost like two separate stories. If you wanted to make it a devotion, just a quick reflection of the story would suffice.

Though it felt like two different articles, each one by itself was quite good. you definitely nailed the topic. I also enjoyed the glance into your childhood and how you could apply those lessons to today. Nicely done.
05/01/12
I like this. You have brought out some good points from the well known child-hood story.
Congratulations for ranking 6th in level two!