Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Don’t Look Back (04/19/12)
TITLE: Finally Set Free
By Esther Portalatin
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So, there I stood in my beautiful white wedding dressing saying “I do”, without
realzing what I was really doing. I only knew that marriage was suppose to last forever.
Wasn’t it a sacred vow? I looked at the man who would be my husband for a lifetime,
so I thought. It was one of the most important times of my life. Family came from all
over the world to share that day with me. I was all smiles, feeling that I could be that
happy forever. I was young and a bit naïve. I didn’t think of the negative things that
could happen. You see, to me, marriage was something ordained by God, made to last
till death did us part. What went wrong? What happened along the lines? I was in for a
long painful journey that would end up in divorce.
After two children and seventeen years later, my marriage had fallen apart. Infidelity
entered my home and it was like a demon taking control and not wanting to let go. It
was the eve of Thanksgiving in 2005 when I was laying in bed and the Lord gave me a
vision. It wasn’t something I wanted to confront or accept, but it was serious enough to
not sweep it under the rug. As I laid in bed the realization of my husband’s infidelity hit
me. I arose from my bed and confronted what would be the beginning of the ending of
my marriage. As I confronted my husband and asked him why, he looked at me and
stated, “I just don’t love you the way I use to.” Nothing could have pierced my heart
more than hearing those words. I didn’t know how to answer that, so I began to pack
three bags. One for me and the other two for my two little girls who had just
experienced hearing their father say those words to me. I never mentioned to anyone
the verbal or mental abuse I had gone through for so many years because I thought that
God could change my husband and work everything out. I never gave up my faith.
I never gave up believing that God could work the impossible. I held on to this verse,
Hebrews 11:1: “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not
seen.” I held on to the word of God. I picked up the three bags and walked out. I
thought it would be the best thing to do as he needed time to sort his feelings out and I
needed time to pray and be alone with God. I was determined to save my marriage no
Throughout the years his ill words to me were stored in my heart. It Was something
that only God and I knew. I was holding on to the Lord and leaned completely on him. I
never uttered a word to anyone. No one knew my inner pain other than God. He was
the one giving me the strength to go on. My scars were not ones that the naked eye
could see. They were hidden scars with new wounds added upon them.
The many affairs my husband had, too many to mention, became a sickness that only
God could heal him from. I held on to God, never giving up my faith and never stop
believing. After a while the mental and verbal abuse began to affect my health. It was
on a beautiful Sunday morning while singing in the church choir where my heart began
to race without slowing down. He inner pain affected my body. How much more
would I have to bare? The doctors gave me a clean bill of health and told me not to
let stress get to me. I guess it was evident to him that I was in fact a battered woman.
So I went home and was determined to ask God to remove me and the children from
that hurtful home situation. I began to pray for God to set me and my girls free.
Two years later, God set me free from the man who tried hurting me in many ways.
Pointing his gun at me as a form of intimidation, was horrible. The day
God set me free from him was the very day he said, “Don’t Look Back, I have
answered your prayer. You and your girls are now free.”
Bible King James Hebrews 11:1
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