The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/28/12
This was definitely on topic. The ending was sad, yet joyful at once. I'm glad the MC went forward without looking back... but sad she had to find out the way she did. However, the good Lord saved her from perhaps a bad marriage, as He knows our future and what it brings.

Nicely done.

God Bless~
04/29/12
This is a good story. You drew me right in and I could feel the MC's excitement, then worry, fear, dread, and anger. But it ended with her having self-esteem and that is a wonderful thing to end on.

You may want to work on doing more showing than telling. It's something all writers need to work on every time they write. Instead of saying Linda was happier than ever try showing us what a happy Linda would look like Linda smiled brightly her blue eyes sparkled with anticipation. It's not perfect but it gives more of a picture than just stating it.

Also some of your dialog didn't feel entirely natural.This sentence -- David, you were acting like you were romantically involved doesn't sound like an angry girlfriend. She'd be mad and you would hear it in her words this may be a slight exaggeration but I want to show you what I mean. "Hey dude, what's up with that chick I saw you hanging all over earlier?" Now you may not prefer dude and chick but I hope you can feel her anger in her words.

All in all, I commend you on a very good story. I loved the ending! I really thought you were going to go the typical route where it was his sister he hadn't seen in years helping him pick out a ring for her. I was so glad you didn't do that. The message is a great one too. It''s hard not to look back with a broken heart, but so important to do.