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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: rain (10/17/05)

TITLE: Waiting as it pours!
By Genstacia Bull
10/24/05


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Oh puh-leeze! I have heard it all before give me a massive break. Amber mused to herself as she overheard this handsome professional looking guy share his testimony with what may be his colleague on the train. The attractive blonde was listened intently as he poured his heart out about how he was a lost cause, bent out of shape and was seeking for satisfaction and did not find it till he found the Lord. He looked so sincere, that Amber for a split second thought she could be swayed to believe. Hypocrites! She reminded herself.

She reached for her newspaper and buried her head in it. Sadness engulfed her and she did not understand why. She thought of her childhood days in church, as she idly flicked through the newspaper. It was all good memories until her parents separated and eventually divorced. The people in church they use to spend so much time with in bible study and Sunday lunches started to act strange after the separation. Some spoke to her mum and not her dad and vice versa, the most painful was the ones that acted like they never even knew them. There were no more invitations over for dinner. Their children said mean things to her about her parents and said they are not allowed to play with her anymore. Amber could still feel the twinge in her heart. She vowed that if that was what Christianity was all about she wants no part of it.

She lifted her head when she heard Blondie said goodbye as she arrived at her stop. She got ready to get off at the next stop. She got off the train, leaped up the stairs as she usually did. She was dismayed to find out it she had been caught out without her umbrella. She ruffled her layered cut hair in frustration and waited. The passengers with umbrellas walked out of the station whilst many waited in the station, she turned and saw the handsome chap close by. She sneaked a quick look again, and chided herself, her behaviour was totally our of character.

Her cell phone interrupted her thoughts, she groped around in her overloaded handbag, and some of her contents fell on the floor, smashing her favourite compact eye shadow. She could not pick up the call on time. The chap rushed over to help her pick them up. Out of embarrassment, she muttered something about not needing a Good Samaritan, unperturbed the guy said, “Are you a Christian?” “No” she said curtly. “Would you like to become one?” You must be joking!” As he stood up he looked at her straight in the eye. “ Okay. Why are you so angry?” He said in a gentle tone. Amber felt the sting of tears at the back of her eyes but was determined not to cry.

“The rain has stopped, I have to go, thanks for helping, I am sorry I was rude.” “ I am leaving as well, can I walk with you then you can tell me why been a Christian sounds so repulsive to you.” Amber decided she was too tired to argue and could do with the release. So she divulged everything as they walked, and she was shocked by all the emotions that emerged as she told this stranger the details of her past. She paused “I don’t believe I am telling you all this, what is your name?” “Simon” “I am Amber”

He smiled. “So Amber, would you say that the actions of the people that hurt you was a reflection of God?” She sighed loudly “ I don’t know what to think anymore, I just do not want to be a hypocrite like they have been.” “Amber we are all responsible for our own actions, and you cannot use the behaviour of others as an excuse to reject God. He loves you and is waiting for you to invite Him into your life and He will heal you of the childhood pain that you have so vividly explained to me.” Simon stopped and turned to face her directly. “ I think you have a decision to make.”

She knew it too but was scared. Her throat went dry, her hands went clammy, and she lowered her eyes. “Could you please pray with me Simon?” It did not just rain on the outside, it rained on Amber’s heart.


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Member Comments
Member Date
dub W10/26/05
Okay. Herein is a wonderful story, but needs to be fixed. Break the dialog into separate paragraphs. Use beats to motivate characters. A couple of edits and you have a good one.