The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/02/12
I could feel your concern for your mother. Only such concern could have caused you to risk such danger to reach her. Relief upon finding her safe opened your eyes to see the rose (a silver lining) in the midst of such destruction (every cloud). Good job!
03/02/12
I am so happy your mom was okay...and yes your family was truly blessed.

Wonderful story illustrating your tenacity in searching for you mom...and a powerful ending with hope springing eternal and new.

Loved this. Thank you.

God Bless~
This is a thrilling story. I found myself holding my breath for the safety of your mom.

Try work on doing more showing than telling. Instead of saying you were worried, show the reader what worry looks like. --I massaged my swirling stomach as worry creased across my forehead. I squinted my eyes searching for a glimmer of hope. The second sentence paints more of a picture for the reader. It isn't an easy thing to do but can turn a great story into an excellent one.
03/08/12
Congratulations! God Bless~
I thought I'd take a quick peek to see how the year had started for you. My first thought was the horror 2012 has endured. Yet through our faith in God, we somehow heal from one storm when another one is piled right on. I'm so glad I came back to this story. It gives me a sense of hope. Through the strength of Jesus at our side we ride the many storms of life and get back on our feet from one just to have the unthinkable happen.A rose pops up through the agony. The crows fly about reminding us that God cares about them how much more must his heart hurt over the loss of lives in Newtown.

I also wanted to tell you that your writing as improved over these months. You are doing better at painting pictures and your first and last story of the year, but even more important you are showing God's love through all kinds of injustice. Knowing Jesus doesn't mean we are protected from the storms but He is beside us every inch of our journey. Bless you and thank you for these stories this year. You are making a difference. :)