The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/16/12
This was so interesting. Nicely done - well written. I enjoyed it. Thank you.
God Bless you~
A beautifully-drawn picture. You have used a couple of cliches - "weight of the world lifted from my shoulders" and "you could have heard a pin drop". Sometimes it's good to use cliches in a first draft because they help you set down your mental picture in words that are clear to you. However, when you redraft, it's a good idea to go through and replace them with a more original phrase of your own. Nonetheless, in this piece, you still managed to create a clear overall impression of the scenario. Well done.
This is a powerful and touching piece.
02/22/12
This was a good entry. I have to admit, for awhile I expected that this man of peace was actually the Lord Himself. Thank you for sharing...