The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/11/12
Oh, I love this. It's kind of like "Undercover Boss" but in a different form. Nice job with this one.
Wow this is a great story. I loved Shelley's heart. It reminded me a bit of the TV show, Undercover Boss.

I did figure out that John was likely the owner. There was a part in the middle where they were talking and one said "I should go greet my customers." I know this was Shelley talking but because you started it John stared into his soup, it was a tad confusing and made me think he was the boss.

I really think you covered the topic in a fun and fresh way. The story held my interest every bit of the way. The message is one we all need to be reminded of. Nicely done.
02/12/12
This held my attention from beginning to end. Loved the story, and it was well written too! God Bless~
This was such a wonderful and tender story. I couldn't stop reading once I started because I wanted to find out how Shelly handle the situation with some of the customers. Great story. Thaks for sharing and God bless.
02/16/12
Congratulations! God Bless~
02/16/12
Wonderful story. Congratulations on your well-deserved first place.